Might as well set my money on FIREEE

So as I walked home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be I........

No I wasn't that drunk, sure I had a few drinks but I was well able of walking. Ill start at the beginning.

My cousin and I were at home having a few beers and then decided to meet some people he had met in work, 3 girls and 1 guy. It became obvious that they were a little further ahead on the drunk scale so the conversation was hilarious.

One of the girls kept repeating the phrase: "do you know what I mean like" while searching for her nail glue and talking about the outfit she bought, one of the other girls kept on saying "Whaa". Pretty sure she meant: "What". (girls no offence)

After one or two beers we decided to head off to the nightclub, we got separated from the other guy and girl so just the 4 of us walking down the street. The girl that was looking for her nail glue had some trouble walking (massive heels) so she held on to my arm of course cant leave one girl hanging so she held on to her friends arm.

All is going well and I am doing my best keeping my balance while thinking: How in the world did I end up in this position tonight? The girls needed money so we had to cross the road to get to the ATM and all went downhill from there. I obviously didn't see this but this is what my cousin saw.

All 3 of the girls went straight down to the ground and purses flew and hair products covered the road...

What happened was, I stepped down onto the road first but I stepped in a GIANT pothole and twisted my ankle and just fell onto my hands and knees. Because the girls were depending on my flats and somewhat soberness they kinda just fell along....

I'm on the road for about 5 minutes just thinking: FUCK THIS REAAALLY HURTS (it was really sore), I can hear my cousin going: Ahh for fucks sake... One of the girls went insane because it was her purse that was emptied all across the road (who carries a brush and hairspray out?) she called me a bitch multiple times. " You fucking bitch, you are supposed to be the sober one, fucking bitch". "My purse is broken". This went on for a while and I was trying to explain to her that I didn't really do that on purpose. The pothole was located just at the edge of the kerb so very hard to see (in my defence).

                                                   
ANYHOWS, we all got up and walked on, had the word "bitch" thrown at me another few times and I had to tell her to stop calling me that because we don't know each other well enough. (I was a little pissed that she was worried about her purse and that my ankle looked like it had eaten a tennis ball). Pretty sure I told my cousin I would attack her if she called me a bitch one more time.

                                                   Basically every road in Ireland

Arrived to the nightclub, because yes I had to go, don't ask me why. Pretty sure the alcohol had numbed some of the pain. After standing still for some while looking at the 6 people on the dance floor, my cousin waved me over as for me to join them to dance, I stepped and the pain shot straight through my leg and I shook my head: Noo way in hell I am "dancing". So I "walked" passed the dance floor and down the stairs towards the exit. Now the security guy saw me limping and asked me if I was ok. I told him I was fine and just twisted my ankle.

This guy insisted that I sit down and have an icepack put on it. So, sure, fine Ill sit down and take the icepack. I didn't know Id be sitting behind the counter where people drop off their coats... So, I was the retard that everyone saw as soon as they walked in!! Brilliant, just what I need.

Lovely security sat with me for a while and helped me down the pair of stairs. He held my hand. Its almost a romantic story! Got home limping and put my broken body to bed.

My cousin and I had a talk the next day and he says that the night was a lot like this for him:
"Whaa, whaa?" "Do you know what I mean like?" "Aaauuuwwwwww" And that in replay. Poor lad...

Second half:

Sunday I spent my day on the couch, asking my cousin to grab me this and that and made him take care of me.

Monday the ankle was still pretty swollen and sore, so I went to the doctors. She asked me a few questions and told me to go to the hospital in Naas for an x-ray. "If I had to put money on it, Id say its not broken, just in case"... FINEE, my uncle drove me down to Naas, got the scan done and the doctor told me: "You're fine, its not broken". Well you'd think, brilliant! But that still left me with not being able to walk.

I went down to reception and asked them if it was possible to get crutches for a few days to help me get in to work, the guy told me that I would have to go into A&E.. I "walk" down to A&E and ask them the same question. The woman told me that she couldn't give me crutched because I was helped in the main part of the hospital and not A&E itself... Why did I do that? Well because the doctor told me to, as I had the referral letter for radiology.

Fine, got back into the car and drove home. I got home and my mother said: "Emma that's not right, it needs to be taped at least". So I call back the doctor and they told me that they don't do that and I should just let it rest.... SO, I paid 55 euros just to find out that my ankle wasn't broken!! Obviously!!

Gotta love Ireland

                                                          Wednesday finally!

Well, that has been a while...

So as I was trying to fall asleep last night, I remembered something. Now I thought it might be funny to share, so here it goes.

I can image that every parent is very happy when the time comes that the children sleep in their own beds. No more :" I peed in the bed, can I sleep here with you guys" no more : "There is a monster in my room, REALLY".

I cannot remember when that ended for me but I am assuming my parents were very happy that they had the bed for themselves.

Now about 2 months ago, we had two family reunions, one in Sligo and the other in Tullow. In between those reunions we decided to stay with family in Kerry for a few days. We rented an apartment and it was my grandmother, brother, parents an myself who stayed there. My grandmother being my grandmother she got the double bedroom, my parents the other and yes... my brother and I had to share a room.

Not bad, I mean there is always someone there to talk to.

First night, we go to bed and were talking and kind of doze off, and what happened next I havent experienced ever in my life.

I am laying in bed and I feel weight behind me, as if someone is crawling into my bed, so I try to move and my body is not allowing me to move and then I feel pressure around my body, as if someone put their arms around me. Spooning me? I am trying like mad to get loose but I cannot move I am frozen completely. I panic and I start screaming for my brother SEAN, SEAAAAAN but I cannot make a sound, my lips were moving but no sound came out.
Suddenly I awake.... I was asleep? I really thought I was awake... I sit up and call my brother, he was fast asleep, when I check the time about 2 hours have passed... Confusing as fuck.

Now I figured FUCK THAT SHIT and took a deep breathe and went back to sleep.

Again I feel something/someones weight beside me in bed and again the spooning sensation. I panicked immediately, clamping my hands together and I try to roll and scream again... nothing happens. Until I force myself to move so hard that I fall out of bed, lying on the floor I cannot move again and still cant make noise, about to piss myself, I focus really hard on my hands. Move your hand, Emma. Thats what I was thinking. MOVE YOUR GODDAMN HAND EMMA..

As I move my hand I wake up, in bed... So scared... I have never been that scared. My brother still asleep and I didnt know what to do. So what do you do when you dont know what to do? Yes go to your parents. I knocked on their door and they were awake. My dad asked me whats wrong? I explained him the whole story as I am walking back and forth through the room, trying to understand what the fuck just happened.

My parents look at me, a little confused I think. So my dad asks me: "What do you want to do Emma"? Well... I said, Can I sleep in here and you sleep in my bed?

I think a moment of silence passed and I cannot remember exactly what my dad said but he got out of bed and walked over to the room I was staying in.

I crawled into bed safely with my mother beside me. It took me a while to fall asleep as my heart was still pounding but it didnt happen again.

I asked everyone else who was staying in that house if they had anything like that happening to them. They all said no. My brother slept like a baby, and so did my dad....

What is was? I am not sure. Might have been some weird dream/ lack of sleep experience. I have experienced it once after, not so long ago, only this time I recognized what was about to happen and focused on my hand again and I snapped out of it.

So apparently focusing on something helps.

Moral of the story? You are never too old to share a bed with your parents!!

Do you drive?

In holland you start your driving lessons and you have to pass a theory test before you can do your practical exam. 

I think Ive spent (this is not joke) 280 euro trying to pass my theory test. Took it about 7 times when I was still in Holland, on top of that I spend about 2000 on driving lessons obviously a waste of money.

In Ireland on the other hand, you need to pass your theory test before you can start your driving lessons. Upon passing the theory test you can apply for a learners permit which will allow you to drive with  A LOT of rules attached obviously.

Did the test twice... But finally past last weekend!!! The level of happiness I felt was indescribable. I walked to the train for about 40 mins with a HUGE smile on my face!! Because finally I am one step closer to getting my license.

No I did not take all those failed tests as a sign that maybe I should be in such a position of driving a vehicle.

Now as I sat at the station waiting for an hour for my train home.... Sounds like I live in the middle of nowhere doesnt it? I kinda do....

I looked at the piece of paper that said: congratz bla bla and how to apply for your permit and then I realised.. FUCK this isnt the permit? I need to do more shit? Yes, its not that easy.... I passed in the category of car/work vehicle and as I kept reading that part, work vehicle I thought to myself: "Mhhh would I really have gone through all that trouble just so I can drive a goddamn tractor"? I texted my parents and they told me: " Emma that cant be right" but as I did more research on the subject I was really convinced all I was allowed to do was drive a tractor. 

Now I am a person that wants to look on the bright side of things and even though I was heartbroken for a bit, I sat on the station laughing like an idiot about how much of an idiot I am... Must have looked mad....

BUT BUT when I looked into it a little more I realized that I can drive both a car and a tractor so, all good!!

Came home and decided to leave all the other things til the week started seeing as you cant do shit in the weekend, motor tax office wise.

Wednesday I looked into it all and my god.. the amount of things you need to hand in and get looked at... It is going to be a process.

I have to bring in:

- 2 identical photos.

- Copy of my ID.

- Proof that I can actually see.

- 35 euros (whats 35 compared to 280)

- Proof of residence

Andd?? Could be more depending on the 3 page form that I have already filled out..

Conclusion? I thought this was going to be easy but no Emma, getting your license is hard...

Someone want to do all this for me? Bring it in to the office? Ill pay you!!

Really a Facebook page?

YES YES YES

You have seen that correctly!! I have now made a Facebook page where I post all the blogs but also interesting facts and funny memes.

I must admit its hard to post full time seeing as I am also working full time and enjoy not being behind the computer....

BUT if you enjoy reading my blogs you might enjoy the Facebook page too.

https://www.facebook.com/emmasmadness?ref=hl

SOO

All by myself, Definitely not my cuppa

So yesterday was Arthurs day. On Arthurs day you go drinking. Seeing as yesterday was a Thursday and I work on Fridays…. I still went drinking…. Alone… which I can now say, is the worst thing you can possibly do.

My cousin had soccer and my friend group where I live is…. Tiny… So I though why the hell not! I can do that. Ill just sit at the bar and talk to bar staff or random people. I figured it couldn’t be that bad.

I figured since I “know” a few of them conversations should happen. Well they didn’t, except the: “Hi how are you” when I walked in nothing else was said. Other than what I said to myself… I should watch that.

Now there might be people out there somewhere who are perfectly fine with just sitting by themselves and enjoying a beer or two. But that is definitely not me. I probably make things a lot more awkward than that they have to be. And the moment where the glass hits your teeth you have no one to laugh with except yourself, which looks a little sad.

When I couldn’t handle feeling awkward and self-conscious I walked outside to the front of the pub and skyped my friend.  Which I think is still a little weird because every time people walk into the pub they would look at me and think: “what language is she speaking in?”. But the man who waved at my friend was very funny.

I considered having a third beer and then go home butttt I couldn’t do it.

Note to self: please, pleaseee bring someone when you go drinking because, Emma you don’t do to well on your own!

I bet ya

Betting in the Netherlands isn’t really a big thing except for in Casinos.
Betting in Ireland on the other hand is huge. Every small town will still have several betting offices, as does my little town.

I had always just walked passed them as I didn’t know how it worked or didn’t think anyone in my family knew how it worked.

Well that all changed when my cousin arrived from the States. He knows how this world works. He also told me that it’s illegal to bet in the states. Obviously I was a little confused… thinking to myself: but.. Las Vegas is in the States right? Now if I remember correctly he told me that, Yes indeed it is in the states but it’s also on Indian (native American) land and they have different rules. I was mind blown, didn’t know that.

The things you learn!

Now one drunken Friday we had the brilliant idea to bet on a soccer game the next day. I think Manchester city and Stoke? were playing. And we would put 20 euro each on Stoke to win. The next day however we weren’t so brave (we are broke) and decided that 10 each would be good enough.

The game wouldn’t be on TV and that was alright because you wouldn’t be able to watch a game peacefully anyways. BUT then he decided to look at it online. So as I am in my room still unpacking suitcases (just moved into a new apartment hence the broke-ness) I hear my cousin yelling and cursing at the laptop (my laptop). I must admit I was a little frightened I would have to buy a new one. Anyways there was no need for me to watch the game because I knew exactly what was going on… we were losing…

Fine lost the game, lost 10 euro, that doesn’t keep me awake at night. Fun experience. EHH NOO
obviously you don’t just bet once… because you have to do it again until you win…

Last night Liverpool and Swansea were playing… “Swansea at home are hard to beat” “Let’s go for them”. My cousin is the soccer genius, just for the reference.
Fine, were in the pub and yes they do score within 3 minutes, but then Liverpool scores after 10 minutes… Let’s just say we didn’t even finish the second half because we knew we lost the money anyways.

Still not sure if I have learned my lesson but I will say that I will leave the betting till I can afford to lose money.

Boys in green? Boys in orange?

Ah, I know I have been absent on my blog. So I apologize to the 4 full time readers that I know I have ;)

It has been a busy time and I had little inspiration to be honest. I think I wrote out most of my frustrations before.

But I found a new one. Since my cousin arrived from the states and were now sharing a house, I have been dragged into soccer…

Now soccer isn’t that bad except it is. Irish soccer is that bad. I have seen two games in the last 2 weeks? And yeh… both were a little sad. I am not giving out about the players but they are so predictable.

Goalie always kicks out the ball faaaaaaaaarrr away, which means the other team also has a shot of getting the ball (seems to me, that is not what you want) and this happens often. You’d say that people learn from these things. When the Irish are stuck and can’t go forward they always play the ball back and the ball goes all the way back to the goalie, which to me seems like a waste of time.

One thing that is great about Ireland playing any games, are the supporters. They just keep singing “Field of Athenry” which I think is great! Because at the end of the day , it is just a game.

Now I am not a soccer genius, far from it BUT like many people out there I do enjoy some games of the euro and world cup. I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be in this cup, world cup right?

Holland seems to do fine on the other hand so I suppose ill take out my orange shirts!

Come on you boys in orange!